Confessions

Less than 24 hours to go. 

That sudden thoughts that everyone's expecting me to be strong overwhelmed me. 

I felt so stressed out of a sudden. Or maybe I am already stressed out already. 

Omg sis why you made me so emo last night -.- 

Like really, ugh. 

Hey, 

Yeah, you. 

Can we stop doing this already? 

Please? 

What're you thinking? 

I confessed, I told you I did not get emotional because that particular reason? 

Please don't be mad 

Please don't think too much right now? 

You know I needed you with me....

For the past 19 years, 

I've been trying so hard to prove to the people outside that I can be really strong, despite my weak body. 

That's why I kept trying, and trying, and trying. 

Pretending, pretending and pretending to be happy and cheerful. 

Until I got myself into schizophrenia. 

But hey, 

I thought you'd started to put your trust on me? 

Isn't this fine enough? 

It's already the best thing happened to me yesterday. 

Time's ticking right now and I don't wanna lose any chance to do anything within my capabilities. 

I promised you I'd be strong, 

can you promise me you'd stay by my side? 

You told me not to step away from you, 

can you not hold yourself back from me?

We've been really positive and happy for the past weeks. 

Like really, 

I didn't hesitate, didn't force myself to.

Everything just comes together naturally. 

For once, 

I found someone who can let me stop pretending to be happy, or strong.

I found a reason for me to be strong by my own.

I really don't want to stop this right now. 

I hope you get it. 

And thanks sis,

Please don't go 'fasting' for me for god sake

I really don't want that. 

It's already sufficient for me, knowing that there're people 

supporting me. 

I'll be back. 

I'm sure. 

This is what I'm going to do 

and what I believed in. 

Can we now stop thinking and making things sadder 

and go have a nice dinner together spend the rest of the day happily?