Day One Entry: Oct 23, 2012

A conversation that sums it all.

I think 

I've reach my limit already.

Maybe it's time.

Good night. 

三点了，

多一下子就要考试了，

其实

真的很紧张

最近都很压力

很忙碌

很衰

结论是

都还蛮倒霉的

不知道

到底做错了什么

真的咯

妈的

我到底是怎么了？

也许是上天要试验我吧，

要这样子想才能，

不然真的是够悲观了

离开就离开吧

反正我没有对不起我自己

从开始就说好了

也许是

投入了许多

改变得连我自己都认不得自己了

算了吧

努力过就算了

公司已经够忙了

衰也够衰了

真的不应该继续这样子

诶， 

你要怎样就怎样吧

开心就好。

拍手给你，

给你那打死不联络得精神

还有

那恐怖得善变能力。

让我大开眼界了

我真的不应该这样容易相信人了

哈，

真的是害死我自己

也许

感情这方面真的是谁先认真谁就先输了。

真的有想过回英国

也许我在那边无忧无虑的生活

才会让我真的开心

可是还是算了吧

我有我的目标

我还有支持我的人

姐，你说对吗？哈哈

谢谢你骂醒了我

还有一个很特别的人

淑娟啊淑娟，

怎么这次你跟我都掉进了一样的坑了啊

哈哈

妈的我们还真有够倒霉。

就当作成长吧

是的

我还是觉得思想>年龄

好了，

牢骚完了，

继续作最后的冲刺吧

刘亦峻，

你要坚强加油！

你还有很多东西要你亲自去做的

妈的不可以这样没用。

希望等下考试

顺利闯关！

Teehee! 

deja vu?

nahh 

What's next.

I think I, 

should start to get used to being selfish, 

should start to get used to live alone, 

should start to not depend on someone else, 

should start to love myself. 

You, 

ran into my world, 

took everything from me, 

and step away from me. 

All the stuffs you've done, 

rendered me helpless, restless and hopeless. 

I miss it when everything used to be simple, 

when it's just you and me in front of the phone,

I just can't get over you... 

I felt so useless right now, 

especially when i needed your support the most. 

Sigh. 

I will still learn Korean, 

I will still go to Korea, 

and Blue Reef, 

and I wanna realize all the pinky promises we have made. 

All the bad things seems to crash landed on me lately.. 

I really wish that you're here to face them with me. 

"I wanna share everything with you" 

This is the first promise you made to me. 

Is this still valid? 

I miss you, but I know I must stop myself from doing that,

from now on at least. 

I feel so devastated right now... 

And yet everything to you seems so easy... 

Subsidiary company registration failed, 

examinations failed, 

relationship failed, 

parents failed, 

Everything chose to stop working at this very moment, 

It's horrendous 

I don't know how to accept them at one time. 

I feel so breathless.
I feel so vulnerable. 

Speechless. Really.

Lesson of the century: age of a person clearly doesn't reflect the level of maturity.

I shouldn't have cared at all.

 I was thinking of being nice by caring more. 

Didn't expect to be treated like a pathetic beggar trying to get some attention.

I totally did not see this coming. 

I've no idea why would anyone favor ugly endings.

And when will you stop listening to others and start having your own thoughts?

I'm so sick of this already.

Yeah you're right, he's right, she's right, she's right, they're right...

But I'm never right...

So in end,

Which one is your decision?

I gave you my trust from the start.

I thought everything is going to be ok.

I thought you're different.

Yeah you're still different tho.

I thought its going to be very simple.

Apparently

I was wrong. I was naive.

All you have done is making empty promises and did nothing, 

also, complicate everything up when you said you just want a simple day? 

I'm sorry. I don't comprehend simple in such way.

No, simple doesn't have to be comprehended in any form of method.

Not to mention, leaving me when i needed you the most.

Come on.

Even a friend won't do this.

And

Can't a friend cheer the other friend when she's having an upset time?

No. 

You thought that's weird and dragging me and stuffs.

I was amazed by how much a simple caramel macchiato would influence you.

You told me you cared about how others said, 

and you blamed me for not thinking whether you'd wanted that beverage or not.

But i thought this is our matter, 

shouldn't you be caring how I am going to feel and thought of than your co-workers?

Then have you thought of how I'm going to feel after this?

I told you I just wanted to cheer you up.

It's as simple as that.

And yet you told me you're afraid that I'm the immature one.

Guys who went to clubs are often the same. 

Well at least I proved this wrong. 

But meh. 

Doesn't matter anymore.

I'm so sorry sis.

I know I can't drink le yet I still drank so much.

I just wanna wake myself up. Just once in a while?

I should've listened to you...

Thank you.

I think I'll just keep you as a co worker.

You finally made me give up.

 How amazing. 

You deserve a medal on that.

 Nope. No joke.

Guess I really have to buckle up. 

Good thing I don't get affected by others word so easily?

 Well... Except those unfortunate ones.

Duh

And hey,

Cheer up kay? 

Don't think le. 

Everything will be ok sooner or later.

Don't say you're in the same shit ok? 

Cause that was me. 

At least you had someone who treated you like a princess for this two months? 

Well maybe your way of being a princess is different 

but to that guy he's done some of the impossible stuffs 

he'd never ever thought of doing them for the past 20 years.

We're both the same type of person.

 We didn't want to lose. 

And we certainly don't like the feelings of losing.

Got so hard, 

to get out from the past nightmare of relationship. 

And get into another one again.

How funny

It's like going back to the same, again. 

It's just this time, it's just me.

Do you still feel like starting all over again?

 We'll have to go through a proper introduction again then. Ah

You have no idea.
how sad am I 
and how 
fucked up I am right now

At least I learnt two important lessons this while.

Second one was, never ever give your heart and trust the other first.

Forget it, 
I have finished ranting and complaining

Fruitful not

I'm feeling centered today =D

Not a fruitful day at all. 

I literally, and practically wasted whole day doing nothing at all.

How great?

Ugh. 

Woke up at 2 and rushed my way to qb

only to find no place to even sit in Starbucks 

and i had to go squander around the mall...

Wasted loads of time in the arcade actually =(

I guess I got pretty addicted to the game already

Damn 

Gonna stop myself from playing already. 

pfftt..

Anyway

Saw your tweets rather late..

Mhmm 

What's going on?

What happened?

I'll cheer you up tomorrow kay? =)

Teehee

Had to settle some stuffs tomorrow

And meeting at 7. 

Don't know if i can wake up or not 

Oh ya,

dad finally force me to use the new number 

damn i really don't wanna change a new number 

so fucking troublesome.

So yeah 

that concludes today 

Oh! 

I got myself a free beverage, 

again -.-

Mhmm...

had to meet her tomorrow,

i mean, 

the other her... 

I hope I can hold myself.

Hey, 

I don't know what's going on but 

I'll be that guy that you can rely on 

and 

rant on 

and 

trust on

and 

I won't fucking be your burden 

=D

kk

OH! And

This time help you do your work 

Know you're not in the form 

But, 

No next time kie? =P

Let's create our own little piece of heaven. 

You had my heart 

Mission. Stop. Myself. From. Coffees. 

Commence. From. Tomorrow. Onward

Ok i can't do it. Or not -.-

Kkk

had to ciaoz.

Petty pace

So yeah,
It's a rather relaxing day like what she said..

Except the fact that i was fucking waken up by my ex
in the morning
5am...
Just to find fights with me.
Wow
Really...

Took me a good 45 minutes plus to go back to sleep..
why the fuck are you doing this
you think it's fun?
Screw you.

Anyway
woke up afterwards.
Did some web-browsing and stuffs
And yeah
Dato Redzuan finally replied...
the reply we got never fails to amazed me
just how much business prospect he's looking at
and how the dynamics of his questions were like
mhmm
Deputy Secretary General of UNAM..
I'm so gonna look forward in meeting him..
Hey,
you wanna join us when we meet him? =P
yeah, you XD.

Anyway,
went to study Tort Law at starbucks
Had chicken pie and cappuccino
well
i wanted to get blueberry cheesecake
but i didn't have a proper meal since morning
so yeah -.-.
chicken pie it is =D

Mhmm
Didn't get to facetime tonight
Mehhh...
I wanted to tell you something actually
But i forgot them earlier -.-
Fineeeeeee
guess i'll just tell you tomorrow night then. =O

Guess it's a pretty simple day today afterall
Hah.

Must .Not . Overthink =D

Isn't it?

把一切都交给我

把你的手接我

不要想太多 

=DDDDDDDDDDD

DDDDDDDDDDD

DDDDDDDDDDDD

Kkkk i'm high again.

Good night world 

Good night you =D

mhmm maybe i should change my tumblr theme. =O

Afterlife

So yeah. 
Been busy settling exams and stuffs.

Vena vena vena vena.... 
So much stuffs to do, 
So little time... 
Now tell me, 
How hard can your life be compared to mine...
I'm really starting to stress out already. 

Officially screwed up my Contract Law, again. 
yikes. Not good at all... 

I really could use a good rest. 
At some point perhaps... 

Hi dad and mum. 
I am really saddened by the news. 
Why won't you both put in some effort to patch things up...
It's been a really hard time for me already...
And this news is really hitting me hard.. 

Hi god. 
I don't normally believe in you 
but seriously.. 
you really want me dead don't you? 

So she called and scolded me a bunch loads of bullshits
Hahah.
So i'm the motherfucker who made you felt that you're being a fool now? 
Tell me, 
How foolish you can be? 
Enjoying and fooling around with someone who gave you
his world, his words, his love and care, and most preciously, 
his trust... 
Now who's the retard right now? 
But whatever,
I don't really wanna know already.
It's all over already.

So everything went back to normal already.
I guess? 
Still patching things up I guess...

Hey, 
I like how you support me the way it is right now 
Don't ask me whether is it worth it or not,
and no, 
don't ask me why wouldn't i give up or let go.
I told you
I don't and never will make a promise easily. 
I gave you my words, and I will make everything fine and alright 
like what i've been saying
Everything will be alright. Maybe not today, but eventually. 
Yes. 
This is my dogma. 
Always been the same. 
It's always worth all the works 
when it's just you and me 
sharing our days 
our feelings 
our thoughts 
our supports...
Even a simple "everything will be alright" or "don't think too much" 
would be so much sufficient to make me feel better.
I mean,
a hell loads better. 
It's just as simple as that...

你说得对，
有些事情不需要说白，
没说明的不代表不存在。
彼此心里明白就好了
简简单单就可以了不好了吗？

You've never found out doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
And yes
Both of us just wanted a simple day. 

=D 
幸福就要互相扶持互相關心


I miss blueberry cheesecake
and cappuccino 
Imma get them tomorrow. 
Teehee

Must however cut down the amount of coffees
=\ 
I'm so addicted to everything right now. 

Nope, I can't.

Okay. 

Finished emo 

Finished blog

Finished charging

Back to life

Back to reality

Back to Vena 

Back to books. 

I wanna get a tat on my leg 
And perhaps a pierce at my left ear?
Meh 
This is never going to happen. 
=\